Eyes of Wonder

Eyes of Wonder




His eyes searched for mine, in deep pursuit of something that could fill the longing inside of him. His gaze intensified; his mouth tightened, as if asking me to break the code and retrieve the message behind his smooth facade.

I looked back, accidentally, momentarily.

I was caught.

My mind floated high up in the clouds, while my heart fought bravely to break free from its cage. Turmoil ruled and chaos erupted, wrecking what little composition I managed to hold onto.

My resistance waned, and I found myself sinking into that blissful mystery. The warmth invited, nay, welcomed me like an old friend that I had known for so long. The ropes that held me, snapped, one after the other...

Wait, a little voice said.

I paused to look around me, wondering what the hell I was planning to do. But I had no answers. I felt weak. I wanted to give in.

But for once, before I was completely lost, Reality drew me back.



...And I looked away.

Soon to be Rebonded

Soon to be Rebonded




I've been wanting to have my hair rebonded since last year. It wasn't because rebonded hair became the trendy thing, but rather I saw it as a way to finally tame my uncontrolled hair, which has been quite a burden since I can remember.

I begged, pleaded, compromised, but my mom just wouldn't hear it, even when I offered to pay for it myself. UNTIL, I finally decided to face my weight issue. She's been trying and nagging me to deal with it for the longest time. And I'm finally making an effort.

So I made a deal with her. I told her I would strive to reach a particular short-term weight goal, and then, she would have to finance my rebonding expense (which is way over my summer budget) in return.

Supporting my battle with the bulge, she said that if I reach the 20-pound mark before the summer is over, she'd sponsor me. On second thought, I told her I'd change the goal to 30 pounds so that it would make me work harder on myself.

She finally agreed.

After working my ass off for the last two months, my weight stabilized with a 14-kilo loss. Converted to pounds, that's a little more than thirty pounds. (Hip, hip, hurray!) She's happy and I'm even happier! So, I made the arrangements a while ago, and off I shall go to the salon next Tuesday to have my hair finally "controlled."

I CAN'T WAIT! See you then...

D.U.F.F.

D.U.F.F.




What is a DUFF, you might wonder? Well, I haven't had an idea until I watched a replay of Average Joe on ETC almost a week ago. Read on and find out. The searcher of the show, beautiful and sexy Melana, had to cut two guys out of the remaining four "joe's" left and so the producers came up with this plan to see the guys for their true colors.

Melana was made to wear prosthetics for her face and body so that she would look twice as big. Then, they passed her off as Melana's "cousin," Danielle, who was going to interview the guys. Afterwards, the guys were ushered into the poolhouse, not knowing that the place was filled with cameras to record their reactions.

The next morning, Melana plays the tape recording the guys' responses. Not surprisingly, it shows Zach, the house jerk, talking about how Danielle is a Duff. The other 3 guys didn't know what a Duff is, so Zach goes on to explain that a DUFF is a Designated, Ugly, Fat Friend and that every group of hot girls has one. He says that for a guy to get in with the girl, he must get in with the Duff of the group.

Here comes the personal effect it had on me. The bit of insecurity that hid deep down my being came rising in huge torrents. I actually felt tears dripping down my cheeks after hearing what a Duff is. See, I belong to a group of good-looking girls, in which I am the only one who is way overweight. And even though I know that my girlfriends do not see me this way, I can't help but feel that guys might have perceived me as the Duff of our group.

Ouch...

This is really petty and stupid, I know. But I really couldn't sleep well that night.

Now I'm really motivated to get rid of these extra pounds. I've lost 10 kilos (22 pounds) so far, but no one's actually noticed the difference. My sister says it's probably because half of it is only the water weight. So, I'll have to strive harder and not lose patience or determination.

After all, I didn't get this fat in just a short time. It took me years to pack in the pounds, and so it will probably take me quite a long time to get rid of them too. Go me!