Life, O Life

Life, O Life.



Hummin': Here I am by Bryan Adams

Sometimes I find myself wanting to just crawl into a hole and disappear forever. Other times, I'd wish for an all-granting genie who'd make all my dreams come true and chase all my troubles away. And on rare and seemingly hopeless cases, I contemplate on suicide. (God forbid!)

But what is it that makes life so interesting?

It's that when you actually get through that particular rut you're in, it's like you've taken a drug of some sort and you just feel so 'HIGH' up there. I mean, you forget all about the hell you've gone through and you'd just want to scream 'hurray' and 'yahoooiiieey' all day.

But then, again those moments of pure bliss are just that--MOMENTS. Next thing you know, you're slaving over another long list of things to do before the deadline gets there first.

So what's my point? Well, I just wanted to share my brief encounter with contentment and happy, happy, joy, joy. Because I know, the moment I post this entry, I zoom back into reality and then I'll have no choice but to face all the shitty things in life again.

But until then, I'm squeezing all the happiness in this moment...up to the very last drop.




(Reality beckons and unfortunately, I still have no internet at home. Grr.)

I'm back...but, not really.

I'm back...but, not really.


Feelin': Swamped
Hummin': Nuthin'

Here I am, back where those without money for internet prepaid cards or those who have huge breaks with nothing to do with too much time, goes. Yes, I am mooching off the school computer lab.

I really am suffering from internet withdrawal. Unfortunately, this is also one of those hellish school weeks where tests are lining up one after the other. So, being internet-less is a huge HANDICAP especially when people exchange information and test schedules ONLINE.

Grrr. What's more, with Philo and Theo orals on the side, I am in for some sleepless nights ahead.

Sigh.

When will the torture end?

Shit. I need actors for my scene and I have less than two weeks! Gaddemit!

See how I'm already fretting? Fretting, pimplets and constant worrying are symptoms of one thing: PANIC. I am currently bordering on that state of being, so pardon me for schizophrenic outbursts in the near future.

It's part of who I am. (Hehehe!)

Internet Withdrawal

Internet Withdrawal



Feelin': Damn annoyed.


Damn PLDT's DSL! Where's that promise of unlimited internet?! I keep getting these breaks, about once in every two or three months where my internet connection at home would malfunction and I'd have an internet-less week!

Damn it.

Why would we pay two thousand five hundred something bucks per month if we're getting these lapses!?

Promise-breakers!

Grrr.

Afternoon Chikahan

Afternoon Chikahan



Hummin': Stuck by Stacie Orrico

*Ice and I had another one on one girl talks yesterday, the kind that makes you want to spend the whole day just sitting and talking. It was soothing, relaxing after another day of battling wits with professors and tests.

(An excerpt from memory. Will not be the exact conversation, but it would be close enough.)

"Hay nako. Ayoko na...hanapan mo na'ko ng iba!" she said with much passion after her anecdotes about someone.

"Wag na. It would just be a waste of time and effort," was my reply. "Sinasabi mo lang naman 'yan eh."

"Haha! You know me so well." She was impressed.

"Yeah, I know you that well. Bakit nanaman ba?" I asked, preparing myself for another barrage of complaints. (Women do that a lot.)

"Hindi ko alam... Naiinis ako sa kanya! Ayoko maging ganito, puro siya na lang iniisip ko."

"Sus...gumagawa ka nanaman ng sarili mong problema! Ano ka ba? Tinataboy mo tapos hinahanap mo. Tsk tsk tsk." The Doctor Love side of mine was slowly reappearing.

"Ehh...Nami-miss ko siya. Hindi ako sanay na hindi ko siya nakakausap. Ginayuma akooo!" came her whine.

"Pwede ba? Ako, ako ang ginayuma. Ikaw, nalilito ka. Hindi mo alam kung meron kayong patutunguhan, pero alam mong may something. Diba? Kahit pakiramdaman?" I ask, and she nods.

"Eh ako?" I continued, "I'm hoping, hanging onto something, someone, I'm not even officially friends with. Imagine me telling someone about him and then that person asks, how do you know him so well? What would I say? Uhmm, through second and third-hand information!? Now, who's more pathetic?" The self-pity was rubbing off on me. "I'm hanging onto nothing..."

"Hehe...onga noh. Anu bang meron kasi siya?" she asks. The topic has been shifted to me.

"Ewan ko. Binunutan 'ata ako ng buhok eh tapos pinakulam ako." I was trying to lighten the mood, but really, it's obviously darkening. "Ang tagal na nito. Hindi na nakakatawa. Ako yata ang dapat mong hanapan ng bago."

I love you Blogspot!

I love you Blogspot!



Hummin': Queer Eye Theme Song

Did you all notice that my banner's gone now? Yups, the lovable Blogger Team had taken it away after I requested them to. Whoohoo! Now I can place whichever background pic that would suit my mood!

HURRAH and Mabuhay to the Blogger Team!!! :D


Thank you!!!

Heinakuh

Heinakuh




Hummin': Stuck by Stacie Orrico

Hay buhay...

Bakit ba laging hindi sapat ang mga mayroon ka sa buhay?

Oo nga't mayroong makakain, matitirahan, magagastos, subalit palaging kulang pa rin. Kailan nga ba matatagpuan ang kaligayahang tatapatan ang lahat ng iyong naisin? Mayroon nga bang ganito o isa lamang itong guni-guning pumupuno sa walang katapusang pagiging sakim ng tao? Ito ba ay isang malayong pangarap o isang ilusyong nagdadala ng mapanlinlang na pag-asa?

Sa bawat biyayang natatanggap, napapangiti tayo at nagpapasalamat sa Poong Maykapal. Subalit, makaraan ang isang oras o limang minuto, nalilimutan na natin ang pangyayari at naghahanap nanaman tayo ng mas magagarang bagay. Hindi ba't ito ang totoong nangyayari sa ating mga buhay?

Mayroon bang hangganan ang ating tila walang katapusang mga kagustuhan?

O patuloy lang tayong gumagalaw sa bawat araw na magdadaan, magtratrabaho, magsisikap at susubuking abutin ang mga bituin kahit kailan ma'y hindi natin maaangkin?

Ignorant Fool

Ignorant Fool


Hummin': Leave by Jojo (LSS na 'to!)

"Ignorance is bliss," many had said. I was one who benefited from the same saying. I do believe that in some cases, what you don't know won't really hurt you because you are innocent, or yeah, the more negative word, IGNORANT. But then, as always, not everyone has the same say on this.

Let me tell you where all the fuss is steaming from. See, a female mood-swinger had just ruined my fine day. Apparently, for her, ignorance is a sin. I mean, she's blaming me for something that I didn't know existed. How could I be accused of indifference and apathy when I didn't know there were two sides to even choose from?

I'm tired of being the one at fault. It seems that everything that goes wrong is my fault. I'm only human and I'm flawed just like you. Stop thinking that I'm evil inside, because saying I am, just makes me want to become one (and then scare you out of your wits).

I'm pissed. (And the stubborn nagging doesn't help either.)

I mean, come on. Think rationally and don't just explode on me like you do every single time you feel miserable. You don't have to make things worse by turning other people against you just because you're like a hurricane that wrecks everything in its path.

I understand your pain, really I do. But please, try to understand me too.