My brother would make a good BF.

My brother would make a good BF.

I swear he would. So girls, watch out coz my brother might be 14 now, but he's growing up FAST!!!

How do I know that he would be a good boyfriend? Just read and find out.

I was sitting here in front of the computer when my "shoti," (that's younger brother in Chinese) came in with a pack of chocolate-coated marshamallows on sticks, sprinkled with colored candy. He goes, "These are for you," and placed three of the sticks on the computer table in front of me. I tease, pretend to be disappointed and say, "Ay, I LOVE YOU lang?" He goes, here and proceeds to give me the whole pack. Now, I have 5 of them...which I'd like to think of as "I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH."

Ain't he the sweetest?

Then, just as I'm logging into blogger to brag about him, he comes back in and has three pieces of bear-shaped chocolate on a stick with him. I don't ask for one, coz obviously, I've got more than enough to make me even fatter than I already am (as if that's any more possible). But he approaches me and gives me one of them, a little chocolate bear wearing a bowtie. I think he felt shy so I said, "Thank you," with all the sincerity I have just before he left my room.

Some moments later, he comes back in again and asks, "Did you like it?" (Pasimple pa.)

Awww..... I can't help but feel sooo much loved just because I have a brother who loves me sooo much. I mean, we're as close as can be. I'm almost like a mother to him. We fight too, but we never keep grudges on each other. We forgive, and try our best-est to forget. We're as normal as two siblings can be. We fight, argue and hate each other in particular situations. I would almost say we have an ordinary relationship, but sometimes, he just surprises me with little stuff that just makes me feel like I'm the luckiest sister in the whole wide world...just because I've got a brother who loves me unconditionally.

I just feel so blessed to have Bryan by my side. Life wouldn't be this fun if it wasn't for him.

Just to add, I also received a colored chocolate mold that said, "I LOVE YOU" on Valentine's Day and guess where it came from?

I LOVE YOU SHOOOOOOTIIIII!!! *smooches*

Bad people. Hrmph

Bad people. Hrmph.

Sometimes, I wonder how human beings who were made out of goodness (well, the first man was) could turn into beings of pure evil. Think of all the murderers, thieves, terrorists. Think of all the pain they inflict on others, sometimes out of revenge or selfishness. Sometimes, for no actual reason at all.

I mean, I for one have a very active conscience. It may not show most of the times, but yeah, it does bother me a lot when I know I did something wrong. But I wonder of the people who do harm to others and yet not feel remorse or regret or anything at all. Don't you find it odd as well that some people don't seem to have a conscience at all.

I don't know what I'm getting at. I guess, I just feel that this world sucks so bad because of how the people make it. I don't mean to sound preachy, but really now, it's sad how people couldn't just stop looking out for themselves all the time. If only we'd learn to be considerate, thoughtful of the people around us, no matter how few that we touch, the world would just seem SO much brighter.

...And maybe, a place worth living in.

Devil Spawn.

Devil Spawn.

Would you believe that someone actually thinks of me as Devil's spawn? She sees me as a good-for-nothing bloodsucker that lives only to bring damage to others. It's as if I only hitchhike on the "goodness" of others and should have never been born in the first place. Well, in that sense, I agree. Rather than hear people talk about me like I wasn't suppose to exist, sometimes I wish for the very same things myself.

Perhaps Gel would be better off without me.

I'm just sooo tired of living a life that I wasn't supposed to. Maybe I ought to just cease to exist, disappear from this reality and begone from the bindings that keep me down.

Maybe it's actually for the betterment of everyone.

HAUNTED WORDS. -->click for my poem.

Blog: My Support System

Blog: My Support System

Feeling: DOWN.

Down. Downright ugly, useless...depressing. I feel as if my feet were molded into a concrete block and I'm thrown out to see without a life jacket on, hitting the crashing waves of an impending storm.

Ever had that feeling that there's so much pressure that all you want to do is crumble under it all into countless pieces, dissolve and dissipate into the bliss of nothingness?

That just about sums up how I feel right now. I hate it when school isn't doing well despite my best efforts...okay, maybe not the best, but better efforts. I mean, I've already gone through another week of pure hell. Papers, tests, quizzes...and not one was going well. The bags under my eyes are double the size of my eyes...and they're getting darker too. I've only slept for 3 hours yesterday because I had to study for a test.

I feel like I'm slowly sinking into a bog.

Then, there's the house issue. I hate it when a raving lunatic gets loose in this house and just about disses everyone that crosses her path. I mean, what did I do to deserve that tongue-lashing? Isn't it sooo immature to pick on someone just so you can release a little steam? But who am I to talk back or even show her just how ridiculous she is that she's becoming frustratingly annoying? Hopeless...just hopeless.

Tell me, life just can't get any worse than this.

Four days without a computer...I missed venting out here. I really did. It feels so good to let it all out through writing...even though getting to read it right before relives the pain a little bit before it goes away. Aren't I grateful that I'm a tub of lard who obviously is too HAPPY for my own good? Imagine if I were some emotional breakdown-er. With how fate plays with me, just IMAGINE how the scenario would look like...

...

See, I'm already smiling.

T.M.K.

T.M.K.

We-he-hell... I've just gotten through another week of hellish papers and long exams. I don't know what Ateneo is trying to do to its students. Honestly, are they trying to drive us to the edge? My friend is about to lose it, just because of some mistake in a particular major test that could really affect her grade. I mean, if I were in her place (IF nga eh), I'd be freaking out too. This school is just TORTURE. More of that and we'd all go NUTS! Sheesh.

Enough of my oozing bitterness. I've been wallowing in it for too long... *cough* Theo *cough. So, let's CELEBRATE!

No, it's not just for another week we've gone through, but because tomorrow, I'm going to watch...WHOOHOO!!! The premiere showing of Magic Kitchen, starring the one and only male celebrity I ever truly adored JERRY YAN, Sammi Cheng, Andy Lau and other big stars.

What makes it even more fun is Riel's going to watch with me! I'll be sitting side by side with my #1 JY bud, rooting for the ever-so-gorgeous hunk! Fun, fun, fun! Wahaha! Warning, overflowing drool is forecast to be coming in tomorrow. LOL! I'm going to watch with other escaped mental hospital patients too...so expect some major hooting and rooting tomorrow! Wheeeee!!!

Note to self: Bring little canoes...just in case.

(Oh no, this stupid monitor is acting up again. Argh. Gotta go. Hehehe. I've got no choice anyway.)

What The Hell?!?

What The Hell?!?

What do you do when you finally realize that one of your worst fears, the one you've been dreading for ages, comes true? What do you do when you see that life has played another twisted joke on you...

...but you can't laugh because you don't find it funny?

What is it that makes me so damn unlikeable that no matter what I do, some people just find me IRRITATING? I dunno if I'm just being paranoid...or are my vibrations are leading me to the right conclusion? Let me tell you exactly what made me feel this way.

I have been ranting on and on and on about extra-difficult THEOLOGY class, right? Well this morning, karma just went ahead and smacked me in the face. Since I am OBVIOUSLY struggling to pass and bear with this subject, I decided that the best way to cope up would be to recite in class and show my teacher that I do have a brain (no matter how puny it is) underneath all this hair. So the morning went by and I listened to the discussion intently. Finally, the opportunity presented itself. I knew the answer to one of the "DEEP" & "PROFOUND" MYSTERIES in the Bible she was challenging the class to explain, which I have heard from one pastor in our church a long time ago so I knew it must be right.

I was hesitant at first, but JD's encouragement pushed me on...so, bravely, I raised my hand. Other were also raising theirs...and the teacher picked them, one by one, (notice the wording I used, it's deliberately placed) until only I and the one behind me were left waving our hands in the air. Just when I thought, "hey, she's finally going to call me since she's left with no choice," she goes on to ignore our me and went to reveal the mystery in class. I sat there, stumped, my mind in the gutter.

WHAT THE HELL--?!?

Yes, that was exactly what I thought. This just confirmed it... she HATES me. Damn. I knew it...coz I had that gut feeling ever since the second week of classes. I really don't have a problem with people not liking me...but I can not NOT care because she holds the my future with just a scribble of her pen. Now, you see how unfair my ATENEO LIFE really is?

I wanna leave this school A.S.A.P.

(I don't mean I'm getting kicked out. Insert rolling eyes here. I meant I want to GRADUATE.)

Last Samurai

Last Samurai



I just got to watch the LAST SAMURAI starring Tom Cruise with Tabs & Chika last night. The movie is all about a war hero, Captain Nathan Algren played by Cruise who suffers from haunting memories of Indians, innocent civilians, he killed during the war. Then came an offer to train Japanese military with how to use guns and other western modernizations, to which he reluctantly agreed to do. He closed the deal by demanding a steep price for his service. Thus, the story really starts upon his arrival in Japan where he finds himself in between a war he wanted nothing to do with.

I refuse to disclose more than that... If you wish, you can leave me a message in the tagboard or in the guestbook for more details. But for the sake of those who haven't watched it yet, I won't spoil it for you. (See how nice and considerate I am? LOL!) This movie is a definite must-see.

KEN WATANABE ROCKS!!!