Pandora's Box Opened

The Opening of Pandora's Box



Hummin': Say My Name by Destiny's Child

My day in school started out fine, but ended quite badly. I was in a surly mood when I came home and wanted nothing more than to get some much-needed sleep. Unfortunately, my Dad told me that we would go out and take my grandmother to dinner. I was in no mood to even talk to anyone, much less exchange pleasantries, but no, they just wouldn't let me be.

Dinner was awful. The food was great, but the conversation was so bland, almost forced. I really tried my best to smile, but I think I displayed constipation rather than happiness on my face. My mom was badgering me to stop frowning, which I wasn't doing at all! I was just merely wearing my poker face and nothing else.

ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE LEFT ALONE.

But even that wasn't granted. The usuals popped up in the conversation: my year in college, my course, my ambitions, my school, and of course, my weight. I usually take that topic in stride, because I have always been the fat kid and so, was quite used to the constant inquiries, criticisms and "encouragement" of relatives whenever we get together. Even though they still hurt me sometimes, I tend to brush them off.

But tonight, the issue of my weight problem really got to me. I was so bothered by their comments that I could hardly swallow my food. I tuned out everyone until all I could hear was a faint buzzing in the air and played with my cold soup, while thoughts battled noisily inside my head.

I don't know why, but I felt so miserable. I guess when I started working out and reaching for changes in my life, it was only then that I truly and finally admitted that I needed to lose weight. I quit being an escapist and for the first time, I faced my problems head on.

But at the same time, I had inadvertently opened Pandora's box. My doubts, insecurities, discontent and fears were released from the cage of denial that I had kept them in for so long. A mere moment later, I discovered I am no longer happy as the person that I am.

I felt vulnerable, ugly, undesirable and even, disgusting. My hopes came crashing down on me, stomped on and torn apart even more by my growing self-doubts. Talent and inner beauty no longer seemed enough to quiet down my insecurities. Self-acceptance which I valued and was so proud of suddenly meant so little.

I felt like a handicapped fool who would never measure up.

I don't want to feel this way. I really don't... This is the feeling that I had been avoiding for the nineteen years of my life. I never wanted to be like the other girls whose main concerns have always been how they look and how much they weigh. I was happy as the fat girl who had a fun and happy-go-lucky personality...and I miss feeling that.

But my Pandora's box had been opened...and I wonder if I'll be able to close it ever again.

For the Sake of Blogging

Filler




(An Entry for the Sake of Blogging)

My week has been okay. Nothing REALLY bad or good has happened. I have had good days and not-so-good ones.

My operation's healing well. I'm back to eating solids again. But the ugly bruise on my right cheek isn't showing any signs of leaving.

What else?

Hmm...I've had a haircut, which looked fanta-bulous for like 6 hours, and then my hair went back to its usual rowdy self.

Oh, and I've been weighed and measured again for my work-out progress. So far so good! To anyone who's interested, I've lost some weight and a couple of inches. (HURRAH!)

And...

My computer crashed again. For the nth time, my trusty PC failed me, which is the main reason as to why I haven't updated at all.

Now that I have, I can't seem to think of anything to say.

Ho-hum...everything's just been mediocre lately.

Weight Loss!

Weight Loss!



Hummin': My Place by Nelly

Yes, you've read it right. I have truly lost some weight. In fact, I've lost four--

Teeth.

Hehehehe! I am four teeth lighter as of this hour. I just came home from my friendly dentist, Dr. Gerald Mabasa, who took out four of my wisdom teeth. Two of which had to be surgically removed since they were impacted (that meant they were horizontal, instead of the usual upright position).

I came there after psyching myself for the discomfort ahead, knowing that I would spending at least an hour and a half lying under bright lights. But nothing prepared me for the pain of four 1/2 inch needles required for anaesthesia, anti-inflammatory and bleeding suppresants.

How many?

25.

That's right. 25 painful shots of nasty tasting liquids. About 20 of which I felt hitting my nerves very painfully; 5 of which luckily were given after the anaesthesia kicked in.

I was at the verge of breaking down and crying for Mommy, who was beside me the whole time, holding both of my hands. (I think I squeezed her quite hard during the shots.) But my dentist said he would stop operating if I cried, so I had to hold it all in and pretend to be a brave girl.

It's a good thing he's quite the professional (read: Dental Surgeon), very gentle and comforting. He reassured me over and over again while doing the process. He gave me loads of heads-up, like when he was starting to cut through the gums and other more gory stuff I wouldn't mention anymore, so I wouldn't be shocked. He even gave me a 2-page information sheet a week ago that he himself wrote so I would know what would happen today.

An hour and fifteen minutes later, four of my teeth were gone. So were my fears.

What's good though is that he gave me a pint of strawberry ice cream to take home! I'm supposed to eat it all tonight at 8 pm. And even though I haven't regained the feeling in my lower jaw yet (due to the anaesthesia), you betcha I'm already salivating. LOL!


PS: Photos of my teeth and my very relieved face after surgery will be posted soon. And you can probably expect a rant-filled post about the post-surgery pain after the anaesthesia wears off that will go along with them.

PPS: I've reached the 10,000th mark of hits on my blog this week! Hurray to all you bloghoppers out there! Thanks for dropping by my blog. ;)

Malapropisms Reach Heaven

Malapropisms Reach Heaven



Hummin': This is the Night by Clay Aiken

(This is a fictional conversation that my teacher in Creative Writing required us to do. We were supposed to get two people who have hundreds of years between them and create an interesting dialogue. About 90% of what Melanie says here in this conversation has been taken from transcripts of her real life interviews.)

Melanie Marquez and Saint Peter meet at the gates of heaven.

MM: Where am I?

SP: Welcome, Melanie.

MM: Oh. My. God.

SP: Not exactly. But you will meet Him inside.

MM: Wa-what? I cannot be dead. I am one of the last living Ms. International na buhay!

SP: Unfortunately, the plane you were riding crashed.

MM: Oh no...we had a planecrash-ed?

SP: (Nods solemnly.) But the good thing is, you have reached the very gates of heaven. You are in a far better place. Now, tell me in order to gain entrance to heaven, have you been a good and faithful servant?

MM: Servant? Of course not! My beauty is not like a maid, muchacha noh! Don't forget that I am a long-legged Ms. International!

SP: Ah, but it is wrong to belittle other people based on their status in life. It is a sin to judge others--

MM: I know! Because others are not a book, diba? That's what I said to Kris Aquino. I told her kapatid ko pa rin si Joey. We are one and the same!

SP: What I am about to ask you will merit your riches stored here in heaven. So, what other good works have you done while you were on earth?

MM: I think I am a good woman. I am a success because I don't middle in other people's life. Even if inaaway nila ako, I still won't stoop down to my level. I have always lived to my principle, "We are lovers. Not fighters."

SP: What about vices? Do you smoke, drink, gamble, use illegal drugs?

MM: No! They are making issues about me becoming a drug user and pusher! But they are liars! Tingnan nyo nga ako, ang payat-payat ko. I am a model! (I still don't get this.)

SP: (St. Peter's confused.) Would that be all?

MM: I also don't kill animals. I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival.

SP: Now, before I grant you this one-way ticket to eternal happiness since your name is here in the Book of Life, I have to ask if you have any qualms regarding your untimely death? See, we have been receiving some negative feedback on our surveys, so if you have any grievances, now is the time to say so.

MM: Well, it's not so bad here. I think it is worse-r to end in Hell. I think I will get sunburn-ed there! Hmm...and besides, matagal naman na akong semi-retarded eh.

SP: Final words?

MM: I only have three words to say, "Big Angel is here!"



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No to Plagiarism!


On a different note altogether, let's all say NO to Internet Plagiarism. Sassy Lawyer is a victim of intellectual theft. So, as bloggers who don't really have control on who reads our blogs, let's keep vigil on parasite plagiarists.

I hope our being aware will lessen the number of these pitiful people.