Daughter-hood

Daughter-hood


Hummin': Something Beautiful by Robbie Williams

What do you call that "Damned if you do, damned if you don't?"

Oh right, being the daughter of my mom.

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

You've probably heard how mere words can destroy and break a person down. Well, I've gone through it a thousand times.

Although it helps that I can zone out on impulse, and have an easy, re-inflatable ego.

Foodstuff and Other Bits

Foodstuff and Other Bits

Hummin': The Happy Tune

I'm stressed out. Aside from having to sleep very late last night, actually morning, I had a lot of papers to edit for workshops. And then there were the usual readings that weren't really that heavy, except that when topped onto the already bulky work to do, it adds a lot of pressure.

Good news is we're already earning money from Foodstuff, the baked goods that we sell twice a week. Plus, we're going to start doing other gimmicks ang gigs just so we can raise enough funds for the Fine Arts Festival 2006! Whoohoo!

I realize just lately how snobbish I have been to acquaintances that I don't know very well. I don't always greet them NOT because I was feeling smug, but rather because I felt SHY, and after hesitating whether to say hi or not, the moment passes by and people look away. Snob na tuloy labas ko.

Well, I'm just glad that I have a bunch of college friends who are ready to support me. I'm just thankful and very appreciative of them, both the old and the new. I LOVE YOU ALL! *flying kisses everywhere*

PS: If you are studying in Ateneo, please buy or order through me: 0917-8995241. It's really for a good cause.

Tackling The Thesis

Tackling The Thesis

Hummin': Naughty Girl by Beyonce


I've been quite busy these past weeks. Aside from the usual load of schoolwork that I often cram, I had a lot of other things to do. One, we are fundraising for our thesis projects through selling baked goods, that includes cookies, brownies and cakes.

(And yes, if you're in or near the Ateneo, please contact me 0917-8995241 and BUY! Hahaha!)

Also, I've met with my adviser, the beautiful, nice and smart, Karla Delgado. We're going to try and concretize what topics I should probably include in my book. You read it right, I'm going to try and publish my non-fiction essays in a book!

The topics would probably range under the oddities of Filipino-Chinese and other interesting stuff. The style would be a light narrative with a bit of humor infused, similar to the tone of writing I do here in my blog. It will be entitled, The Red Dot, showing the dot that is placed on siopaos to indicate a special flavor.

Now, I really need your help.

1. BUY OUR FOODSTUFF! I promise they will be very satisfying!
2. What questions do you usually have regarding Filipino-Chinese traditions? (Anything odd or curious will do.) For example, the exclusivity of Chinese dating Chinese. Or, why most Chinese people own buy-and-sell businesses?
3. What do you think of the title, Red Dot?

Thank you in advance. (Flying kisses.)

From A Proud Sister

From A Proud Sister


Hummin': In my Daughter's Eyes by Martina Mcbride

My sister hasn't had the best life. She was an outcast during the early elementary years. She was very thin then, and quite weak physically. So many of her classmates boosted their ego by putting her down.

Damn them.

After switching schools, she thought she'd found a group she could belong to. Unfortunately, they turned out to be backstabbing bitches who abandoned her right then and there.

Damn them even more.

In highschool, she was a loner for a year or two. Sure, she had friends, but not the ones who you could just hang out with. Then again, in her third year, they had two new students who became her friends. She was happy God answered her prayer, but they didn't quite share the same wavelength, which made it hard for my already quiet sister to share stories.

Then came college. This new step was like an opportunity for a new image presenting itself to her. After all, with a new environment, perhaps she would be lucky to find good friends this time. At first, she belonged to an all-girl group of seven. But after a few weeks, some bonds became stronger than others and she became the odd one out.

After a few classes, Fate gave her a chance to be close to other people. And so she got to know other batchmates, which quickly accepted her into their big group. They hung out in different restaurants and malls, went to Tagaytay for the weekend, spent three days in Ilocos and whereelse. I even got to spend time with them for a couple of times, help out with their projects and competition.

And I silently thanked God every time she would talk about them. Because she is a compassionate and kindred soul--the one who deserves good friends the most. I was SOOO DAMN NICE to them, because I felt so grateful.

I was wrong.

Those so-called FRIENDS are actually shallow, pretentious, idiotic and unreasonable. For a mistake not my sister's fault, they all turned their back on her, abandoned her the minute they smelled trouble, leaving her vulnerable and alone.

DAMN THEM THE MOST!!!

I am one who would not tolerate a mistake just because we're related by blood. But from all the accounts I've checked and rechecked, she really was the victim, one who was seen as weaker and therefore an easier scapegoat.

I cursed her friends so much that I actually lost my voice. Unfortunately, I wasn't given the chance to say it to their face. Well, for all it's worth, I REALLY HOPE THEY FIND MISFORTUNE IN LIFE--the kind that I know they deserve.

FUCK THEM.

(And I'm not even using an asterisk.)

May they find each other squealing like pigs in hell.

I have consoled her on the several occasions she's found her alone and desperate. I have advised her to not let people come to close anymore, not after that streak of bad luck in attracting the fake kind of friends. I told her she doesn't need them because I'm here, (and will always be) to love, help and protect her.

Today, she is progressing with her dreams. Her ambitious goals are so near in sight, and with her determination and hard work, I know it will not be far from reach. What she lacked with loyal people, she gained with fortunate opportunities. And someday, when she reaches that seat of success, I hope we and her "friends" could meet again...

--Just so I can rub their SHIT it on their faces and stuff it in their gaping mouths.

Quivering Wet Puppy

Quivering Wet Puppy




I hate ME sometimes.

There are opportunities for me to speak my mind and I don't. I quiver inside like a wet puppy, insecure and afraid of what people might think. And then, when the opportunity passes by, I can't seem to keep my opinions to myself.

I feel as that in those situations, I morph into a person that I hate. The type of person who is too fussy, a busybody, but there are just times where I can't seem to keep my nose from getting into other businesses that involve myself, especially when I know I can contribute. The thing is, I am so afraid (grabe, you don't know just how) of getting myself into responsibilites. I have had a traumatic experience in highschool that really made my confidence in leading hit rock-bottom.

Let's not go into that, because I hate crying.

So please, sa mga tatamaan, ang I know some will get to read this: be gentle...and have a little understanding.

I'm being vague, I know. But it's all because I'm quivering inside again.

Should I?

Should I?



Hummin': Hallelujah by Bamboo

I'm bored too.

Though I shouldn't be. I should be writing a Philosophy paper that's due in 3 hours. I should be studying to be a lawyer, my father says. I should be a stunning beauty queen, my mother says. I should stop eating these cheese crackers, my brother says. I should quit being a know-it-all bitch, my sister says.

I should be a lot of things.

Maybe even more than what is said and thrown carelessly into the suffocating air of Manila. I smell success somewhere in that smog, but I don't know if I can snatch it and keep it in a bottle.

I should probably stop philosophizing on random-things-except-the-thesis I'm supposed to write about.

But really, I'm just bored.

...And procrastinating.

Like I said, I should be a lot of things.