Quivering Wet Puppy

Quivering Wet Puppy




I hate ME sometimes.

There are opportunities for me to speak my mind and I don't. I quiver inside like a wet puppy, insecure and afraid of what people might think. And then, when the opportunity passes by, I can't seem to keep my opinions to myself.

I feel as that in those situations, I morph into a person that I hate. The type of person who is too fussy, a busybody, but there are just times where I can't seem to keep my nose from getting into other businesses that involve myself, especially when I know I can contribute. The thing is, I am so afraid (grabe, you don't know just how) of getting myself into responsibilites. I have had a traumatic experience in highschool that really made my confidence in leading hit rock-bottom.

Let's not go into that, because I hate crying.

So please, sa mga tatamaan, ang I know some will get to read this: be gentle...and have a little understanding.

I'm being vague, I know. But it's all because I'm quivering inside again.

Should I?

Should I?



Hummin': Hallelujah by Bamboo

I'm bored too.

Though I shouldn't be. I should be writing a Philosophy paper that's due in 3 hours. I should be studying to be a lawyer, my father says. I should be a stunning beauty queen, my mother says. I should stop eating these cheese crackers, my brother says. I should quit being a know-it-all bitch, my sister says.

I should be a lot of things.

Maybe even more than what is said and thrown carelessly into the suffocating air of Manila. I smell success somewhere in that smog, but I don't know if I can snatch it and keep it in a bottle.

I should probably stop philosophizing on random-things-except-the-thesis I'm supposed to write about.

But really, I'm just bored.

...And procrastinating.

Like I said, I should be a lot of things.