Some people believe in being that they are at the very top. Yes, these are the ones tagged as SUPERIOR beings. They are the pretty, the smart, the excellent, the skilled, the gifted. They are exceptional, extraordinary...and they know it. That's the sad part. They know it.
Fart. Fart. Fart. Fart. FART. Fuck the world.
Get me out of this hellhole. This is one damned world I live in. TO HELL WITH EVERYTHING ELSE.
I will never amount to anything. I will never be enough. I will never be who I am. I will NEVER be who you want me to be.
Well, damn you. Damn you and your fucking expectations. What you didn't do in your lifetime is not my obligation to fulfill.
And you know fucking well what I'm talking about.
I AM WHO I AM. So what if I'm different? So what if I don't care about what other people think or say of me? So what if I feel that what you think doesn't matter? Must I always yield to the pitiful fucking bullshit of society's standards? Must I bend to their wishes? Must I always conform to what they think is right, to what they think is true? Damn them...and damn you for making feel that what I'm doing is wrong. But I know fully well what I am. I am who I am.
And you're not going to change that.
Is it wrong to live how I want to? Is it wrong to think that I am special and gifted in my own way? Is it wrong to think that I am happy and contented as I am ME? Is it wrong to pretend I don't mind you always putting me down? Is it wrong to just forget all my mistakes and move on as if nothing happened? Is it wrong to be HAPPY? Is there such a thing as being too happy? Too happy that people think you're a useless, pathetic parasite who hasn't got a purpose in this world? Is it wrong to think that stopping and smelling the flowers is just as important as running in the race? Must I always be on the run?
For when I stop to rest, you call me useless, lazy. When I stop to think, you say I fantasize. GET OUT AND LOOK AT THE REAL WORLD, you say. Well, I am living in the real world. My world is as real as can be, it's just different from where you look... for you do not understand. And don't say you do. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY. Is it impossible and so unbelievable that I am happy and contented in my imperfections? And who are you to judge? Keep your misery. I have enough problems to handle, and I am capable of it, thank you. Don't go pouring your bitterness on me.
I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU AND YOUR FAR-FETCHED AMBITIONS. I HATE YOU.
I am apathetic. I am indifferent. Honestly, I don't care.
But Is it wrong? Is it wrong to stand in neutral? Does it always have to be black and white? Right and wrong? Do I have to take a side, to make a choice? Is it wrong to stand and look from the sides? Is it wrong to sit and listen? Is it wrong to applause for others? Is it wrong to be proud and confident because I have learned to accept myself as I am, as a whole being? Is it wrong to look in the mirror and see a happy person looking back? Is it wrong to be satisfied with what little I have? Is it wrong? AM I LIVING A LIE?
Tell me, if what I'm doing is wrong...and you are right, Why am I happy? Why are you sad and bitter and callous while I can smile through a wrinkle-filled day? Why?
When you find the answer, you'll learn that you'll never get rid of your petty insecurities until you accept that some things just don't work the way you want them to. Some things are just meant for others...but you can be happy. You can be happy by loving and living with the knowledge that you are you...and you are one helluva individual...that you are special...that there's always going to be someone loving you...and that living is fulfilling only when you get to do what you want.
Enjoy life, it only comes your way once. Don't tell me that I have no future. For you are not the one who dictates what happens to me. I have MY own fate, MY own dreams to follow.
