Sisterly Matters

My sister and I have been going out very often for the past month. Since she graduated, she has automatically become a bum of sorts as she recently began her hunt for that elusive chef position in the different restaurants and cafes in town. And knowing just how fragile her self-esteem is (especially after my untimely job offer from the hotel), I am supporting her with everything I've got.

I come home right after my classes. I stopped attending my church fellowship on weekends. I destroyed my healthy eating plan. I even cut school for her.

But this is becoming too much. Aside from the pressure that my own nearing graduation is putting on me, now I have to think for the two of us. On one hand, I have to do this. But on the other, I have to do this for her. As much as I want some "me" time, my conscience just always puts her needs first.

This has led to a lot of forgotten requirements for school and a whole truckload of trouble for me. But even today, when I need to be fully concentrating on my Theology orals for tomorrow (of which I have hardly studied half), I chose to accompany her in submitting some resumes in Ortigas.

I'm not complaining that she's eating up too much of my time. In fact, I enjoy every meal that we share together, because when I'm with her, I can picky about fried, greasy food but also, insist on a calorie-laden dessert or a hot cup of coffee. I love talking to her and just spending time with her, because this past year is the only time that we have truly bonded like kabarkadas.

But the fact is, I AM FAILING. I am on troubled waters and uncertain cliffs with regards to my academics. I am hardly able to squeeze in all my time for the ton of things I still have to do before getting my clearance from the different departments of Ateneo. On top of that, I have to be there for her, every minute that she is awake, encouraging her of her abilities and comforting her of better things to come.

I'm tired.

And I'm scared that I might not be able to graduate on time. I guess this just proves just where my family ranks on my priority list.


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As for that job offer interview with the HR director, the hotel called a while ago when I wasn't home and asked me to come in at 11 am. Guess what? My Theology orals starts at exactly 11 am. Ang saya noh?

Nakatikim pa ako ng sampal ngayong gabi. I'm always misunderstood, damnit.